My Voice

I think I may have lost my voice a bit. Not my singing voice by my voice in life. I've let my friends dictate how I should express myself. I've worried about hurting people and protecting them so much that I've lost an important part of myself. Most of the time it isn't worth it. Why should I care how my words effect them? It isn't as though I'm writing horrible things about them most of the time. Usually if someone gets included in this form it is because they are important to me. Some feelings and issues are better handled in a format that is less confrontational. I don't want to fight with people. I don't like how that makes me feel. I don't like how I can make people feel if I turn my temper onto them. If I write about it then sure they may see it, but it is in a digestible manner. Are my blogs the end all and be all of my truth? No, but it is a truth for that moment. If I'm upset today does that mean I'm upset tomorrow? I don't understand why I have to censure myself for them. I get that words can hurt. I know how to hurt people with them. I don't deny that. I'm going to take my voice back. If I have something on my mind I'm going to write about it. If I have someone on my mind, well, then I'm going to write about them. This is who I am. I'm tired of trying to conform to what people think I should be. I suck at hiding from myself. You know what forcing yourself to be something you're not leads to? It leads to crazy and I don't want to visit that again. Look for some real ponderings from this theatre addicts mind. I'm taking back my voice and sorry if you don't understand that