I Can Embrace This

Affairs of the heart seem to consume most of my time. Well, that and shows, but the heart is at the core of my being. I'm happy at the moment. I'm seeing someone and I really like them. I really enjoy are time together and I really like the notion of someone not being ashamed to be with me. That being said I still second guess everything too much. I'm trying not to sabotage myself. I always seem to do that when I am honestly interested in someone. I sit and question my heart. I ask it constantly if I am doing what it truly wants. I don't know what my heart really wants at times. Sometimes it longs so much for the past that it clouds the present. I need to remember that every kiss with someone doesn't have to scream my soul mate. Maybe my romantic notions are too ingrained in my heart. Lovely delightful and wonderful are really positive things and that is what I have. I decided that I wanted to take things slow with this relationship so that I could process my feelings and I guess I should be ok with that decision. The problem is I suck at not totally running forward with my emotions. I'm someone who is totally guided by the heart. I like this moment and I really just need to not mess it up with my out of control worry. I need to not over nurture this. I need to not dwell on past feelings for other people. I need to remember that I am allowed to be happy. Deep breath Shanna you can do this!