No Idea

There is something major to be said for my new relationship. I have no idea where it is headed. That is a major first for me. I have known the outcome of every relationship I have walked into until now. What a strange and exciting feeling. I don't see a path laid out before me. I think this is a good thing. I hope it's a good thing:) I haven't smiled this much in so long. What a wonderful feeling. It is really nice to be wanted and not have this constant fear that someone might find out and that you will ruin everything. There isn't that pressure in this relationship. This actually is a relationship. How blind I was to what those where for too long. Shame on me for selling myself short for way too long. Maybe I should have taken the advice I was given way earlier than I did. I should have walked away when I started to hurt on a daily basis. I'm stubborn I guess. Next time I ask for advice from someone who knows me ridiculously well I'll listen. I'm happier that way. I'm happier in this relationship. I'm learning about myself. I'm letting myself really feel. I'm understanding certain truths about myself that I had hid from for way too long. I'm trying not to make the stupid mistakes that I made in the past all over again. I don't know where any of this is going but I don't want to lose it. I feel special. I feel blessed. I feel happy. If only I could fix a couple of other things and I would be about the happiest person in the world!