Rules To A Game

I am trying really hard to enjoy the moment that I am having. Some moments it is amazing. When we are together everything is easy and wonderful. Unfortunately there are the times we are not together that troubles me to no end. It's not that I'm overly insecure about things it just that I'm not so good at the game we are trying to play. If you are playing a game then there should be some goal to play for and I'm not sure that there really is a winner at the end of this game. I'm playing because I really want to play but I worry that in the end we will both lose. I hate losing. I'm trying to follow the rules, but sometimes its seems like the rules change on a whim. I wish this was easier. I'm worried way too much that I have done something to basically break the rules and ruin things between us Hell, this is breaking the rule to some extent. Hopefully a blog doesn't mess things up, but I do need some way to sort out my thoughts on the matter. Talking to the great void has always been helpful in the past. I really do suck at the game!