New Year

I really like to blog. I like to talk to no one and everyone at the same time. There is something about talking to the void that soothes my soul. Unfortunately I am selfish with it sometimes. I've been doing this for years. I air all my dirty laundry and I don't really care who knows it but it does sometimes hurt the other parties in my life. I remember this one time I was dating a person and I was an emotional mess. I had just lost the love of my life and was struggling to just keep going. I went on a couple of dates and couldn't handle things. The only way I could cope with this crazy guilt I felt was to drink. I wrote a blog about how I could only do things with this person if I was drunk. The other party read it and was extremely hurt. It never occurred to me to not air that out. I never gave a second thought to how it would affect the other person. I mean I might not mean to hurt people by writing about them but I do. I wrote mean things about one of my friends just a few blogs ago. Yes, I needed to vent, but it was hurtful and it is now out there for the world to read. I mean, I know I don't have thousands of readers or anything, but still someone will most likely read what I write. I shouldn't have written it. I should have cooled down first and thought about how my words could affect my friend. It's wrong of me to throw the people in my life into my blogs. I don't really like to talk about my feelings in real life which is why I am overly open in blogs. I know one of my friends would disagree with me on that, but I can assure her that she really is the only person I openly talk to about anything that is going on in my head. Sorry about that... I bottle things up so much and don't want to burden anyone with my issues. So when I get upset I run to the only outlet that allows me to be open. It doesn't make it ok for the other people in my life. I would tell anyone anything that I write on here in person, but I just don't volunteer the info. For the most part everything just rattles around in my brain searching for an escape. I am going to try and not bring everyone I know into this for a bit. We'll call it my new years resolution. Trying to not hurt others with my blog. If I can not be overly selfish I can do it. Wish me luck!