Anxiety

I think it is fair to say that my life has spiraled a little out of control lately. Maybe it has been spiraling for years. I don't really know. What I do know is that I went to the doctor and he thought I should try some medication to even me out a bit. He thought it would help with my anxiety. I've always had anxiety. I can remember being in third grade being concerned about when the sun goes supernova and the earth is destroyed because of it. That is the person I have always been. I worry. I worry about the world. I worry about my friends. I worry about my loved ones. It is the foundation of my personality. It is really difficult when what you are takes over you life. It is also very strange to have some put you on a medication that should help you not be what you are. I mean it is a good thing to not have panic attacks. I don't like feeling like my heart is going to explode. I don't enjoy spending hours fretting about small details. Yet I miss it to some degree. I don't feel quite right. I've been told some stuff lately and I really think I should care more than I do. It's like there is a slight disconnect with my feelings. That sucks a lot for me. I'm a feelings person. I follow my heart more than my head. What am I supposed to do if I can't trust my feelings? I'm thinking that a therapist is the next place for me to go. Maybe if I go talk to someone and figure out healthier ways of dealing I won't need to take the medication. Maybe I can rebuild some of the armor that used to protect me from spiraling. I just know something has got to give and I hope it is soon.