Regrets

I'm on facebook and this stupid app asked me to name one of my regrets. Well since I'm sitting here drinking wine freaking out about things I think I will answer on here. Let me pick a good regret. I'm going to go with my 18th birthday. My dad was dying of cancer. I really mean dying here. My birthday was a Friday. I had a softball game. I didn't want to be home. I went out. I came home late. I sucked as a kid. I didn't want to deal with sick parent. I was rocking the denial hardcore. The end was not upon us. I was a brat that whole weekend. The next day I went and hung out with this boy that I liked. We started a relationship that day. I was young and in infatuation. I didn't care about anything but the boy. My mom told me that night how upset my dad was that I didn't mention my birthday to him and that he didn't get to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't care. Denial was in control. The next say I went to the circus with my friends. We had a fabulous time. Very young and very innocent. I got home late again. When I got home my aunts and uncles were at my house. It was bad. I went to bed. I went to be with the thought of "well, I had a great birthday, got a new boyfriend and really had fun at the circus and now my dad is going to die." It most definitely happened that night. I was selfish. I didn't want to be inconvenienced by his suffering. I was a terrible person. That is a true regret that I will have to carry with me all of my days.