Sexuality

I think I will write a tougher blog this time. I think it is high time I try to explain my sexuality. I think this is something that confuses most people. I don't think it is that confusing but I'm in my head all the time. I guess I see the world differently than a lot of people. When I was taught as a child to never judge a book by it's cover I took it to heart. I don't think that love is a gender specific thing. I'm a girl. I've dated boys. I've dated girls. I've fallen in love with boys. I've fallen in love with girls. When I look into someones eyes I don't see their gender. Male or female doesn't register their. I fall in love with what the eyes tell me. I fall in love with a soul. I want to look into someones eyes and see the possibility of forever there. I want to know that I could spend a thousand lifetimes exploring the subtle shifts and changes that emotion brings to them. I want to see joy and happiness fill their soul and shine so brightly in the their eyes that world is blinded by that radiance. That's what I fall in love with. I don't fall in love with body. I don't lose myself in the physical world. Honestly I don't understand why people get so lost in the physical aspects of love. Yes I want to desire someone and yes I do have things that attract me to people physically. The thing is that changes. Those things melt away. Beauty changes. Everyone realizes that. Everyone knows that the most beautiful person can have such an ugly soul that they are no longer beautiful. What is so wrong with falling in love with the person on the inside? What is so hard to understand about that? It is funny that I am too gay for some people and not gay enough for others. The truth of the matter is I'm a terrible example of either one. I just follow what my heart tells me. I try to see what is really there in a person. I want to be true to what their soul reveals. That is where my sexuality leads me.