Awkward

Sometimes I have so much on my mind I want to scream. I have to fight the urge to hide from myself. I do stuff that I shouldn't do. I have so many strange difficult conversations ahead of me. I hate awkward conversations. I should be getting a little more used to them because I have been having loads of them lately, but I'm not. I don't really want to explain weakness to people. Unfortunately I will have to explain things. That sucks. Everyone has there vices unfortunately mine is something no one really wants to talk about. I don't really want to talk about it. I've spend many years not talking about it. Problem is I don't think I can hide it this time. It is what it is. Is it a problem? Sometimes. Is it dangerous? Not really. Does it scare the crap out of people? Probably. I don't see a way to not talk about it. This is something to dread. Something to add to my stress. Blah blah blah. If it isn't one thing it's another. I really am getting on my own nerves at this point.