Spilling

Here is something I am trying to figure out:my diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to conversations with Lilac. I say so much. It is the weirdest thing. I don't tell people certain things about myself and here I am spilling EVERYTHING! I mean stuff that I have never told a soul. Hell, stuff I have never said to myself. It just all comes out. I honestly don't get it. I don't know if since I opened the floodgates with the honesty nothing is now taboo. That doesn't seem like me. I have shared crap in the past with people but usually I talk about it in a form similar to this one. Write about it. Dump all the crap. Never talk about it in real life. That is how I share. Never really let the cracks show. Now I'm like a raging river that can't be stopped. I seriously feel sorry for my friend. Who really wants to know all this crap? I can't believe I've opened up like this. I'm not sure if it's freeing or just me cracking under the stress and losing my damn mind. I'm hoping for freeing but a little worried about the damn mind. It is just so bizarre. This whole situation is playing games with my personality. I just don't get it.