Hmmmm

I can't believe it has taken me this long to figure out what is going on with me. It all makes so much sense to me at the moment. I've felt terrible for so long and I just didn't understand why. Stupid Shanna. I compromised my morals and it is killing me on the inside. I've always stayed true to my morals in the past and all of a sudden I turned my back on them. Everything is so difficult now. I used to stand for something even if it was only to myself. I don't have that anymore. I don't know what I am anymore. I know I'm sad. I know I am disappointed in myself. I know that I have been this self destructive in a ages. I know I'm weak. These are the things I'm aware. Unfortunately they don't help me find myself again. I'm a hypocrite now. I'm a liar. I'm so many things that I detest. I detest myself now. This is oh so overwhelming. When I entered the situation I thought I could handle things. I guess I was very wrong. I have to figure out a way to find my way back to myself. I should have realized at the beginning that this wasn't me. I'm not this person. But I guess now I am. I'm exactly what I was told I was. I guess I really don't have any morals.