A Blah Day

Here is a post crazy truth: I'm afraid of my emotions. If I'm having any emotion other than happy happy joy joy I'm terrified. I guess I'm not entirely sure how to take myself yet. Everything about the situation that happened was terrifying. I don't ever want to be anywhere near that again. I'm not having any type of unpleasant thought but I'm not jumping for joy at the moment and it makes me worry about the what if factor. Irrational fear at it's best. I suppose that this is to be expected. I mean my emotions and mind turned against me. I would be in denial if I one hundred percent trusted them yet. It's just scary. I don't like being scared. I don't want to be scared. Blah days shouldn't be a terror. I'm not crazy or dangerous I'm just nervous. I would prefer all happy feelings...